Facing Fear With Purpose

The Days of Fear Took Me Here

Early in the years of my spiritual journey, I wasn’t fully aware of what I was capable of. I felt completely alienated from who I thought I was. I felt isolated by thoughts of “what ifs”, “but whats”, and “I can’t do that!”

Fear used to be a driving factor in my decision making. Fear drove out my ambitions and lessened my confidence. It kept me from pursuing the life I had imagined and kept me stuck in karmic cycles.

Throughout childhood, I used to love writing, creating art, and daydreaming about becoming a woman of influence (with two dogs!). I wanted to be courageous enough to speak in front of an audience and host charitable, community events. I wanted to encourage people to follow their hearts, accept themselves, and express their feelings through art.

One night, I woke up from a dream that I would be persecuted for my desire to help others in this way. I would be “killed off” by those who I believed supported me. I can still remember deciding not to put my life in danger, especially, in the public eye. I was extremely confident in what I wanted to pursue until fear found its sinister way in and slowly sabotaged my willpower.

Fear seemed to be programmed into all of us from as soon as we could comprehend our mortal existence.

It seems we were just given individualized versions of fear as warriors and healers. Maybe some of you can relate to how fear made a cozy nest within my mind.

Not only did fear creep its way in through nightmares and baseline anxiety, I couldn’t fathom what it was like to let my guard down and connect with other people. I developed trust issues from a young age due to religious trauma, an absent biological father, and witnessing dysfunctional family dynamics. I became aware of what “hidden agendas” were and realized not everyone wanted to help the world.

Soon, I became afraid to speak, create, and say how I felt because it led to dismissal (or mockery) in many cases by peers, teachers, or relatives. I also felt I was the problem if my needs happened to inconvenience anyone. I started to fear being seen as weak and feminine. Fear entrapped me completely when my spiritual gifts activated. I became more sensitive, more open to energies, and had no one trustworthy to turn to for support.

I assumed that nothing would continue to cause me pain if I suppressed my natural gifts, went along with society, and threw out the idea of human connection.

I left spirituality during my college years. I ignored my soul and locked away my passions soon after graduating. I kept perpetuating my suffering by attempting to escape reality and the life I truly desired. Perhaps, I was also afraid to elevate myself as I knew it would require me to let go of people and habits that no longer served my highest good.

I lived a fear-based lifestyle for many years before my initial spiritual awakening and a few years after. There must’ve been a part of me that knew healing and taking on my purpose would be a large part of my testimony. Facing my personalized version of fear was my gateway into guiding others. Can you relate?

Most of us, even non-spiritual folks, were purposefully programmed by our earthly relationships and social institutions from early childhood.

I think it’s important for us to remember – fear is not our purpose. Fear is not love. Without purpose and love what type of beings would we be? Lower energies knew we would be coming to Earth when we did. They did everything to stop the Light and the changes coming to God’s New Earth. Fear is a very powerful weapon and it keeps many stuck in the past.

Lessons In Healing And Encouragement

A part of healing from my past was to let go of the anger I had with those who tried to take away my confidence and steer me away from my abilities. They were suffering in their own ways. They served to strengthen my willpower and faith. I had to learn patience and slowly open my heart again. I forgave myself for dulling my shine and letting people mistreat me. I’ve come to find that by remaining in one’s authenticity, it speeds up the healing and integration process too.

I’m proud of my past, present and future self. I chose to step into my purpose finally! Every so often, I am reminded of that dream I had as a child. I didn’t know it would cost me my previous life – the outdated, dead, masked version of who I was and how I was living. I found courage somewhere along the journey.

Are you aware of how much you’ve been through to survive? Are you proud of how far you’ve come? You might want to be!

I’m proud of you for choosing this crazy Earth mission. I’m proud of you for fighting through darkness. I’m proud of you for dedicating your life to health and spirituality. I’m proud of you for breaking generational curses and challenging the status quo. I’m proud of you for remaining authentic when others told you your authenticity wouldn’t get you ahead.

We may have missed opportunities while healing or because we were afraid, but if we continue our life’s work, we will be blessed. Our successes will come from the heart and from experience, not from desperation. We may have felt heartbreak after heartache, but we know what love is not. We know we will have whatever we need in Divine time, including our soul family.

It may be difficult to acknowledge our subconscious fears, our wounds, and who has played a role in our pain, yet the greater lesson is in healing. It’s in after we’ve addressed our Shadow and have had time to digest all the emotions and memories that come with living in a fear-based world.

So, what was the lesson of the past? What is the lesson we gain from fear?

It was to heighten your awareness and to brighten your light for those to see. It was to get you here today.

Facing our fears proves to our minds that we are strong and brave enough to continue forward. All we have been through wasn’t in vain (though it felt like that sometimes).

Matthew 20:16 says, “So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.”

Overcoming fear prepares us to be at the front of the line and lead the rest of humanity to a better future.

The truth is, New Earth cannot be led by those who refuse to step into their authenticity, their light, their healing, and their heart. God refuses to let this happen again. It’s the reason our calling seems louder and harder to dismiss these days.

We are the experienced ones. We are the leaders, teachers, and artists of the future. Even if we’re still learning how to keep our frequency as authentic as possible, even if we must share our not-so-great life stories to reach more people, we have been chosen for our individual and collective missions. Have you accepted that your life has meaning?

Moving Through Resistance

At first, I was scared of my role given to me by God! However, the drive to help make a difference overrides my fear a lot of days. How could I live with myself if I shied away from every chance I had to better this planet?

My heart is my ultimate guide. Sure, I had to learn tough lessons and release expectations. I had to face fears and take on judgements from those not meant to understand. I had to gain experience and love myself in order to fulfill the responsibilities I was given in this lifetime. Even after all I’ve experienced, when I think about becoming a positive influence and being a part of the Great Awakening, I become less fearful, less hesitant, and more excited!

My soul was never resisting the call from God. My frightened human side was the one hanging up the phone. Occasionally, she still does pester me into procrastinating on my mission!

Currently, I’m moving through some residual resistance from my past. I feel as if we’ll have to keep moving through resistance and fear while in a human body. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re experiencing this!

The good news is we can look back and say, “Hey, we’ve been through some tough stuff before, so we can do it again!”

Having faith makes it easier to push through the days I’m resisting working on my purpose or developing my gifts. It definitely gets easier to flow with energies over time. You’ll also make some great connections by releasing the past. I certainly have!

If we’re still healing and moving slowly, that is fine. It’s not meant to be an easy escape from fear. Give yourself more time, especially you newly awakened ones! You’ll learn to code your own frequency with forgiveness, passion, and patience. Lots of meditation helps as well.

A new era is awaiting our enlightened and powerful presence!

I will forever be grateful for the experiences that shaped who I am today.

Releasing Affirmations

As I wrap up this post (thanks for reading if you’re still here!), I’d like to set the intention for us to release what no longer serves us before we enter 2022. You can say these affirmations, write them down, or customize the words to help you face fear and step into your purpose.

AFFIRMATIONS:

I release all the energy that isn’t mine to keep.

I release expectations I had of myself back when I was a child, a teenager, and/or a young adult.

I release negative thoughts, negative energies, and people and places that no longer serve God’s highest timeline.

I release any indoctrination and programming that keeps me living in fear and without love for myself.

I am ready to showcase my Spiritual Gifts to the world.

I am ready to love all aspects of my being.

I choose to live with purpose.

I am powerful, unique, and courageous.

Mini December Art Share

Have a Happy New Year!

Copyright. 2022. Angie Vargas.